\n\n\n\n\nwe heard he was also \ndoing art \n\nvideo art performance art\n\nnone of it made sense\nno one makes art [[anymore]]
The monitor reads: \nMem-uptake 0%\nDose 0\s4\nBPM 78\nBld pres:\nSys:90\nDias:65
\n\n\n\n\n\nwe are running through a corn field at night\nhe is yelling\nand drunk\nscreams: \nLeatherface!\n\nI rememeber another [[thing|image2]]
\n\n\n\n\nThe stream dredges up something\n\nSomething he told me once: \n\n“It is only when we become conscious of our part in life, however modest, that we shall be happy. Only then will we be able to live in peace and die in peace, for only this lends meaning to life and to death.”
\n\n\n\n\nWhat can we really [[know|know]] of another person? \n\nWe see this superficial stuff, what they want us to see. \n\nonly the algos know who we really are. they know us better than we know ourselves. \n\nso when he disappeared we just thought, well maybe he got into some weird drugs. maybe the war changed him. maybe he was in VR super big. People are into all sorts of stuff. \n\nside affects:\nnausea\n[[fear]]
\n\n\n\n\nWhen the authories came,\n they game me a MemPac\n\nTo try to [[remember]]
\n\n\n\n\nDay 2\n\nI look at the [[Monitor|Monitor2]]\n\nI look at the [[bottle|bottle2]].
\n\n\n\n\n\nmost of us had given up on knowing things.\nThe data streams and the web\nhad killed all that long ago\n\nwe were told that knowing things\nwas for the third world upstarts\nIn this country were the creators!\n[[Innovators]]!
\n\n\n\n\nWe hadnt seen him in a long time\n\nthe [[rumor|art]]was that he served in one of the desert wars\nand he came back different\nbut none of us had any real contact \n\nfor a long [[time|dredges]]
\n\n\n\n\nAnd the pain I felt now was so much more\nThan I imagined, \nIt wasnt physical\n\nIt was a real fear-sadness, of like I have \nNever felt before \n\nan [[image]] started to come up\n\nsomething I felt\nI really \nreally \ndidnt want to \n\t[[remember|miasma]]\n
\n\n\n\n\nwe remembered nothing\nwe know nothing\nbut that is the thing now\n\nnow its all about juxtaposition\nthe creation of new things\npref-calibrating it on the fly \n\nits like jazz,\nbut its work\nwe get paid \nridiculously [[well]]\nthe more all the more\nwe forgot \nthe value of [[forgetting|out]]
\n\n\n\n\nDay 5 \n\nI take the vial of Abdaxane and rest\nI sleep of and on\n for 5 days\n\nAnd when I am done, I feel nearly like [[new]]. \nThank goodness for Abdaxane!
\n\n\n\n\nDay 1\n\nI look at the [[Monitor]]\n\nI look at the [[bottle]].
\n\n\n\n\nCan’t forget now\nSleep is hard to come by\n\nMind racing \n\tI try to [[sleep|day3]]
\n\n\n\n\nwind in the night \nhe says stars \nforever and \nI am losing it\n\nthe day fades the drug wanes and I\n\n [[sleep|day4]]
\n\n\n\n\nThe supoena called for 98 percent\nmem-uptake\n\nI have one more day\n\nI [[hope]]
\n\n\n\n\nDay 4\n\nI look at the [[Monitor|Monitor4]]\n\nI look at the [[bottle|bottle4]].
\n\n\n\n\nDay 3\n\nI look at the [[Monitor|Monitor3]]\n\nI look at the [[bottle|bottle3]].
\n\n\n\n\nsuccess\nmemories floated up \nthings I hadnt thought about in years\nold friends\ngirlfirends even\nI remembered one thing — his boots \nWhen we were at school he would wear combat boots\n\nBut that was all. Nothing else\nCame that day\n\nYou see, to remember these days is a hindrance\nAnd we spend our time not doing it\n\ntime for [[sleep]]
Untitled Story
The monitor reads: \nMem-uptake 96%\nDose 3\s4\nBPM 114\nBld pres:\nSys:130\nDias:85
The monitor reads: \nMem-uptake 81%\nDose 1\s4\nBPM 84\nBld pres:\nSys:93\nDias:68
The monitor reads: \nMem-uptake 92%\nDose 2\s4\nBPM 110\nBld pres:\nSys:120\nDias:90
\n\n\n\n\nI try to sleep to forget\nI dont want to be awake\nI throw up in my kitchen\nI think:\nI would rather die \nThan remember\n\nI watch the capture rate\nslowly\n [[rise]]
\n\n\n\n\nThe process was this: \nMonitor the vitals\nGet to 98 percent\nNote side affects\nGet it done and over
\n\n\n\n\nOn its way to 95% capture\nThe stream discovers \nmy friend’s \nPreoccupation with death\n& took this form:\n \nHe told me then he wanted to die \nStandng in the back of an open jeep \nIn a furious [[battle]]\n\nside affects: \n[[nausea|day4]]
\n\n\n\n\nHe was preoccupied with death. Or rather with dying well. It was strange to hear someone talk about this kinda stuff. And its why we started to distance ourselves.
\n\n\n\n\nBut if I focues on something else\n the memory would fade,\n\n and with it the pain. \n\nThe monitor read 98.1% mem-uptake.\nI had met my legal requirements\n\nThe image hovers before me\nLike a sick miasma\n\nI choose to [[remember|image2]]\nI choose to [[forget]] \n
\n\n\n\n\nSo I didnt think much of this weird interview, \nThe stimulated memory and the strange sensations\n\nMy work gave me some time off \nTo forget again, to let the lingering sensations \nOf remembrance die [[out|work]]
\n\n\n\n\n\nsame night\nstars \ninfinite stars \nthe galaxy stretches across the black night \nhe says\nThe stars are [[forever|miasma]]!
\n\n\n\nI take the second days dose.\n\nI was a consultant now. A great job — \nyouth marketing\n\n\nIn order to do this they gave me\nTime off. To go in, and then \nTo come out.\n\nI slide [[in]]\n\n\nI slide [[out]]
\n\n\n\n\nScared and exhausted\n\nI take the final [[dose]]
\n\n\n\n\nI take the third days dose\n\nThese fuckers. Side affects are full on\nAnxiety, shakes\n\nI read the [[side]]of the bottle\n\nI look at the [[supoena]]
\n\n\n\n\nThey came asking about an old friend of mine\n \nHe had some debts. They were looking to encourage collection\n\nI told them I hadn’t seen him in a long time, \nI told them were wasting their time\nMy [[time]]
\n\n\n\n\nIt wasnt easy\n\tthe interview was for days\n\nWith additives and even stimuCore\n\nAnd the images the [[drugs]] conjured in my mind\nlive streamed \nTo government databases\n\nI looked at the bottle\na four day MemPac\n\nthis was going to be [[shit]]
\n\n\n\nMy company had a new product\na new investment product\n\nwe sold these cocktails \nto the affluent\nto the well-to-do\n\nI would take these asses to galleries and be their guide \nto earn their trust\nto secure contracts \n\nthere was a new show in town\nfeeling better, \nmemories long forgot, \n\nI decided to go to the show and take notes
\n\n\n\n\nIts our reward they say,\nfor being he best and the brightest\n\nFor me its just a way to pay off the debts,\nDebts bio-calibrated to persist\nfor the length of my healthlife\n\nThat is something I would like \nTo forget
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\n\n\n\n\nthe bottle is full\nthere is only one way\n to get end this\n \nand that is\nto [[start]]
\n\n\n\n\nBut the subpoena required my cooperation\n\nAnd the MemPacs were given \n\nA pack of 4 with several additives\nTo encourage the neurons \n\tto [[recall]]
Anonymous
\n\n\n\n\nexpect uptake percent 95\nnausea, \nanxiety, \nterrors\n \n\tCommon in most